Miss Teen Louisiana Dodges Bullet, Left Crack in Other Purse

Deposed beauty queen relieved she chose the Louis Vuitton over the Coach

Miss Teen Louisiana was arrested over the weekend and charged with drug possession in a foiled “dine-and-dash” operation that cost the current beauty pageant queen(pin) her crown and sash.

Wait staff solved the mystery with the help of local law enforcement when they scoured the booth crime scene and discovered that one of the would-be dashers left a purse behind. Police considered dusting the bag for fingerprints, but after a heated discussion decided to simply check the contents for identification.

A wallet found in the purse contained the driver’s license of Lindsey Evans who was declared Miss Teen Louisiana late last year. Also in the wallet was two grams of “suspected” marijuana. Results of that separate investigation are apparently ongoing. However, after looking at, smelling, and eventually smoking the alleged drug, police officers strongly believed that they were, in fact, dealing with cannabis. The suspect was apprehended when she returned later to regain the left purse, presumably once her high had receded.

Miss Teen Louisiana was informed of her title, crown, and sash revokation on Monday by the pageant sponsors, but it was made clear that no prizes or cash awards need be returned. TRJ operatives close to the situation believe that this would have been impossible, seeing as how all of these had been used to purchase drugs anyway.

Sure to become a major subject of blogger mockery and lampooning, Ms. Evans may finally supplant Caitlin Upton, better known as 2006’s Miss Teen South Carolina as the interweb’s most humiliated and (seemingly?…hopefully?) drug-addled teen beauty pageant winner. TRJ was recently reminded of Ms. Upton’s infamous meltdown when it was discovered by our team that Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin shared Upton’s pageant prep coach, who was jettisoned after a series of similar responses to interviews by ABC’s Katie Couric.